miranda reviews the world #2

Happy Monday friends and colleagues. Today I return to this newsletter to review more Things. This week will also have another post in the form of an interview with someone I'm a big fan of that I got to talk to live and in person a few weeks ago, so if you're just dying to read more actual music writing, well, you can look forward to that.

But today I will be reviewing the new Angel Du$t album art, going to apartment viewings, and The Philadelphia 76ers on a ten point scale.

Angel Dust Money

I think Angel Du$t is a very fun, cute band. I like that when you google them you're told they're a "Supergroup" before anything else. I like that they named that one album Rock The Fuck On Forever. Recently their twitter account followed about a thousand people in one day which, to me, is hilarious. They're as whimsical as anything associated with hardcore can be. And I do like the new EP! Anyway, I am just struggling mentally and emotionally with the cover art.

Is it because it looks like it was drawn in crayon? Is it the way the teeth are drawn? Is it because when I was a child I used to think houses looked like faces and this has confirmed something deep in my psyche? Is it just my unrelenting fear of muscular men? I really don't know why this image of a house as a head has lived in my head rent free since I first saw it. I really don't.

There are just too many questions. Instead of looking for answers, my lizard brain made this.

Score: 4.3 / anime poisoned my brain sorry angel dust money

Apartment Viewings

In hopes of getting an apartment with windows starting in August, I've been on a bunch of apartment tours. Obviously there isn't a better way to do this, but it truly is clunky, huh? You get there and text a stranger who rolls up with a keyring of like 40 different keys. Inevitably this person has to try every single key because they haven't considered labeling anything. So you're standing there watching some man try keys with increased panic like:

"oh no it's fine"
"sorry"
"yeah no it's cool ha ha"
"it'll be the last key I try!"
"every time!"

And it is the last key he tries! Then you go up stairs that don't have a railing and they just stare at you and point out what rooms are which in this 600 square and tell you they have a different property nearby that costs $400 more than this one.

I hate it. A horrible process. That said, I have found a new apartment that has windows and everything in a different part of Philly closer to people I like and I'm happy. No more men with hundreds of keys showing me horrible establishments.

Score: 1.2 / Moving sucks.

The Philadelphia 76ers

The main event folks. Rating the Sixers players I have opinions on. Please do not report me to sixers fan twitter unless it's to say "wow she did this perfectly" thank you. I do not believe in basketball positions and I do not know what the three letter acronyms mean.

Joel Embiid

Joel is the moment. He is The Process. Allegedly he's a power forward and he truly is a Powerful perfect person. I've never felt the impulse to win anything, but listening to him talk about winning almost makes me want to compete. He also can hit a free throw. He is being docked half a point for giving me a heart attack every time he falls to the ground.

Score: 9.5 / would die for you

Seth Curry

You simply have to respect the younger, goofier looking, good-but-not-quite-as-good sibling. I like that he wears the headband and the t-shirt under the jersey. I like that he can hit three pointers, a rare feat in this list. He's also a regular man's height which I personally enjoy.

Score: 8.5 / have to respect it

Danny Green

I'll be real and say I know almost nothing about Danny Green, but he is injured so all the positive energy in the world to Mr. Green. He also went to my cousin's wedding so that gets him some points.

I like this picture of him swimming with pigs.

Score: 7.8 / went to a wedding I also went to

Tobias Harris

Tobias is my favorite of the Sixers. I just like him. I think he looks like your friend's friend you talk to at parties but don't know that well. He looks like he reads wikipedia pages. He's #12 as a tribute to a friend who died from cancer. Just nice.

He's also fun to watch play and good and I wish him nothing but success and happiness and love. Thank you.

Score: 9.3 / Tobi Hive

George Hill

Maybe George has diehard fans but I just cannot see it. I'm sorry George.

Score: 4.3 / George

Dwight Howard

I like Dwight Howard because he just looks stoked all the time. He's happy to be there and I'm happy about it too. I'm into his hair at the moment too. Good for Dwight.

Score: 8.0 / great smile

Furkan Korkmaz

I couldn't tell you if Korkmaz is actually good, but in my heart he is. We are almost exactly the same age.

Score: 7.2 / a July Leo

Shake Milton

Boy is it exciting when Shake is good! Also a great nickname! Every game should be a Shake Milton game. I'm rooting for him I really am after the abuse Sixers twitter gave him.

Score: 7.2 / bullying works

Tyrese Maxey

I kind of feel nothing about Maxey on an innate level, but I know he's a very good rookie. He also looks like someone who was nice to me in high school.

Score: 6.5 / doesn't stir up big feelings

Matisse Thybulle

Matisse kind of looks like someone who was mean to me in high school, but that's not his fault. Apparently he's Australian-American. That's cute. There's a massive mural of him on the side of a bar in Fishtown which, honestly, seems like a weird choice. I liked his vlogs too, but a mural? Why him? What am I missing about Matisse? Let me know.

Score:  7.8 / best new mural(?)

Mike Scott

Kind of trash. Has emoji tattoos. A lot of them.

Score: 4.8 / maybe he's a cool guy

Ben Simmons

I feel complexly about Ben. I know he's good. Don't get me wrong. Defense is important. But god when any opposing team starts fouling Ben Simmons.. it's tough to watch. I just feel like you should be able to hit a free throw. Not being able to feels like if I wasn't able to use Google Docs at my fake email jobs. I don't know. I do like Ben Simmons I just.. Please one free throw..

Score: 7.1 / JUST ONE FREE THROW PLEASE BEN

Go Sixers. Get Trae Young's Waluigi face off my television screen.

Miranda Reinert is a music adjacent writer, zine maker, and law school drop out based in Philadelphia. Follow me on Twitter to hear more about music and all the cities I think are worse than Chicago: @mirandareinert. I also have a paid tier of this newsletter for $5 a month or $45 a year! If you do that I'll give you at least one free zine if you email me an address! Wow! Might want to get in on that! You may also just send me small bits of money at @miranda-reinert on venmo if you want. But as always, thanks for reading!