september 6 - 8: Kind and Courteous

September 6: Do Unto Others

I picked my sister and her friend up from the train station so they could go to a show near where I live. I thought about small kindnesses I believe you should do for the people in your life. A while ago I did a blog post about etiquette rules I hold for myself so I guess this is kind of an extension of that tailored more toward more how I feel about personal relationships.

1. Unless truly unavailable (or they can expense an uber to a corporate credit card), just go pick up visiting friends and family from airports and train stations. At least meet them at the public transit station near your place if they aren't from your city and that's applicable.
2. Keep a detailed mental list of what the people around you do and don't drink– alcoholic and otherwise. I think you should be able to walk up to a bar or gas station fridge and know at least one correct drink for the people in your life. This is a quiz. There are right and a wrong answers.
3. You should almost never complain about the music playing in someone else's car. You should almost always prepare to play something that will either please the most people or draw no attention. The best album to play in the car that will please everybody is Is This It? by The Strokes. The second best album to play in the car that will please everyone is Room on Fire by The Strokes. The third best album to play in the car that will please everyone is Is This It? by The Strokes again.
4. Take photos of your friends more than you think is necessary. Open up that camera on your phone, folks! Even better, buy a disposable film camera or treat yourself to a Polaroid or maybe even just get a dedicated digital camera separate to your phone. It's fun and it's worth it. I look at the photos that weren't from my phone camera 100x more than photos taken on my phone.
5. Be outwardly excited about the creative things people are doing, especially when they feel similar to what you do. I think the easiest way to remove jealousy and competition is to humanize the person making the thing you're feeling yourself getting comparative with. Most people are reachable. Be generous and excited. You can still criticize that stuff if it calls for it, but I think you should be excited first. Resentment and jealousy will eat you alive.

September 7: Speak For Yourself

Thinking about what I wrote yesterday and the response I could get posting some of that stuff on twitter. I could pay for a blue check and make a bunch of money off New Yorkers and Angelenos insisting the concept of picking people up from the airport is actually such an uncouth ask when you live in New York or LA. Doesn't matter if they're guidelines for myself. Everything must be presented as if it's life advice for all and everybody must take all statements as if they're prescribed to each individual specifically.

I find myself cycle into "What's The Worst Faith Reading Of This" a lot. I'm not interested in being yelled at online. I get nothing from it and don't care to debate or dunk on folks too much. I know how people will respond because I've been online long enough. I think that line of thinking is really negative, though. Being so worried that you aren't preempting every critique– valid or otherwise– is a good way to end up saying absolutely nothing. A lot of writing and discussion online is plagued by this circling of the drain. It makes all arguments overwrought and hard to follow.

At the end of the day, everybody would do better online if they spoke in more I-Statements and read posts with the assumption that the writer is speaking in those I-Statements. I can feel my brain dulling everyday I spend online reading people arguing about stuff that could just be taken as someone saying an opinion.

On that note, I think maybe I should quit Twitter. Unfortunately for a girl like me, I cannot. I am sort of mentally reliant on it, but also– unlike many writer people, I hear– it does get me work and is sort of my only way to reliably sell copies of zines and get people to read these. It is feeling worse than usual, though. I know it's mostly because I just haven't been working on enough stuff that does fulfill me, but god. My brain feels more like mush when I'm on Twitter than when I watch even the most brain dead youtuber content I like.

Maybe I'll take a break at least until, like, hockey starts for real. How else am I gonna lock in for hockey season?

September 8: Two Hours Early

Today I flew to Philadelphia to do some in person stuff for my job this coming week. I've always found an airport a pretty centering place to be. It's like a post office. Just being there feels like I'm doing something productive. I have one goal. I have a defined timeline. I have no problems with sitting and reading or listening to podcasts or drinking a coffee. I've never understood the aversion to just sitting down at an airport.

I had a disappointing breakfast sandwich and a surprisingly good iced americano. I flew from Midway to Philadelphia International Airport as I’ve done a bunch of times. Both airports are easy and relatively small. It’s nice to know what to expect. People hate Midway but I grew up in the south west suburbs of Chicago so growing up it was going to Ohare that my dad would rail against. He has driven me to Midway countless times without complaint.

I moved back to Chicago from Philly a year ago and I’m glad I did. When I left I felt so much resentment and heaviness thinking about the last few years. It just isn’t the place for me, but I got to sit on my friend’s couch and watch sex and the city with her. We’re gonna go to my favorite bar. I’m going to get on the train and implicitly know which way to go and think about all the memories I have at different stops between her house and my day job’s office. I might even eat a cheesesteak, who knows.

People have had some real hit tweets talking about how Philly sucks or how the love of your life isn’t in Philly or whatever. I personally have said Philly sucks, but I think the only thing that truly sucks is the trash situation. Maybe the parking. My only real problem with Philly otherwise is that it’s sort of the epicenter of the most my life ever changed and the most disappointed I ever felt in myself.

Place debates all just hinge on what happened to you when you were there, that’s what makes them so silly. No matter where you go, there you are or whatever.

I hope you enjoyed 1200 more words from my baby brain.