Woke Up With Fingers Crossed: New Year 2025

Every year I've been writing a blog – most of the years I've considered myself a writer in any capacity – I've been writing a new year's post where I set some goals and review the goals I set the previous year. They're not really resolutions, usually it's just stuff I want to do.

Last year was weird. Most of it was a blur when I think about it now. Last year I didn't write very much and making the first 1.5 issues of Portable Model don't feel really like productivity even though it's an extremely time intensive thing to do and something I'm proud of. Maybe I'm just disappointed in myself for the way I feel about my life. I'm obviously really lucky all things considered, but I feel like I float through my life. I've never started a year feeling less than I do this year. Maybe it's because I spent the last three months of the year either sick in a way that is life interrupting or around a medical emergency my sister went through. Maybe it's bigger than that.

Earlier in the year someone I was friends with passed away after a long health battle then, six months or so later, my sister had emergency heart surgery. She's fine, but I think both things have made me feel like my brain is being pulled in two different directions all year. Sometimes I think I need to panic about not being in some long term, life defining relationship right now because what if something happens and I never get to be married or get to make the decision about having kids? Sometimes I think it doesn't really matter anyway and that nothing is in our control anyway. Why get fixated on that? Hard to say which path feels worse so instead I sit down and I watch hockey and try to find something to feel in sports instead.

Usually I like writing these posts but last year feels really lonely and small. My life has never felt smaller than it does right now. Some of that is my fault. Some I think is just delayed reaction to having kind of a tough year emotionally.

I started this year having left my phone in an Uber and my whole purse at a bar. I had to do a lap from way up north in Chicago down to my friend's apartment way down in the loop near where I went to undergrad and then back up with my best friend in the passenger's seat. It's not the worst way I've ever started a new year, but it does feel the most stupid. I think I always just feel kind of stupid.

2024 Review:

1. Go to more shows: I probably went to about the same amount and a not insignificant amount were to see my friends who were working. A failure.
2. Pay my friends and other talented people to write cool stuff for me: I did do this. Please keep an eye out for Portable Model issue 2!
3. Shoot more film: Again, probably about the same.
4. Throw parties of some sort at my apartment: This actually sounds awful idk why I wanted to do this??
5. Save money, spend on stuff I care more about: I spent all my money on Portable Model. Success.
6. Learn to do something artistic at a class or workshop: I did not do this. I did get into hockey. Kind of the same except not at all.
7. Make more physical media: I guess I did. Made a couple zines for myself and Portable Model. A win.
8. Go to Canada or the UK or at least Minneapolis: Turns out when you spend all your money on a weird print media project you don't travel. I did go to the upper peninsula of Michigan though which is, like, almost Minnesota.

2025 Looking Forward:

1. Leave the country: This one makes an appearance once again. I really just wanna go to Canada, but my dad and I have talked about going to Germany, too. Maybe that'll happen, but Canada is not THAT far away!
2. Shoot more film: Running it back once again! I just got a new point and shoot film camera though and a bunch of film courtesy of Christmas, so I think that'll be motivating. This feels like an easy win for when I write this post in 2026.
3. Drink less and more intentionally: I love a cocktail and a nice wine. I love going to my favorite bars. I don't think I love to drink cheap alcohol to get drunk most of the time.
4. Watch more movies: I have got to get some attention span back. It's gotten bad. Really bad.
5. Write more: Low hanging fruit because I don't think I could possibly write less than I did last year. Makes me feel better to do. Makes me happy. Makes my brain work better.
6. Learn an artistic skill at a class or workshop: Maybe this is the year of the riso. I want to learn to riso print and pursue that as part of my journey with print media. Maybe I want to learn other kinds of printing! I don't know!
7. Feel like I'm living with more intentionality and not just coasting day to day: Lofty. Good luck.
8. Pursue work that doesn't make me feel like my brain is leaking out of my ears: Working from home might actually be killing me. Maybe this is an extension of write more. Maybe it's something else.

Happy new year. See you soon.

Miranda Reinert is a music adjacent writer, zine maker, podcaster and law school drop out based in Chicago. Follow me on Twitter or Instagram or Bluesky for more reminiscing on the year: @mirandareinert.  This blog does have a paid option and I would so appreciate any money you would be willing to throw me! You may also send me small bits of money at @miranda-reinert on venmo/on Paypal if you want. As always, thanks for reading!